Practical, Affordable & Durable Solutions.

Mediation is based on the principle of self-determination for the participants. Each of you will be encouraged to share your interests, values, concerns, goals and ideas for resolution for any given situation being discussed. You know your situation better than any third party could ever know it. So you are best suited to sharing your perspectives while working towards mutually beneficial resolutions. These are some ground rules for mediation that I encourage you to review and consider before our first session.

Shield the Children from the Conflict

Children are deeply harmed when placed in the middle of adult disputes, and successful mediation requires parents to insulate them from the stress of the transition. For example, both parents must agree they will strictly avoid discussing the details of the mediation sessions, financial disputes, or adult grievances with the children.

Full and Honest Disclosure

Informed, fair, and legally durable agreements can only be reached when both parties have complete transparency regarding assets, debts, and relevant financial circumstances.

Maintain the Financial Status Quo

Sudden, unilateral changes to finances or property breed profound distrust and can immediately derail the cooperative spirit required for mediation. Neither party will cancel existing health insurance policies, empty joint bank accounts, or incur significant new marital debt without the other's explicit prior agreement.

Strict Confidentiality

Guaranteeing that settlement discussions, proposals, and brainstormed ideas cannot be used in later court proceedings encourages open, risk-free negotiation. If one party offers to accept a lower amount of spousal support in exchange for keeping a specific retirement account during mediation, that offer cannot be brought up in court if the mediation reaches an impasse on that issue.

The Mediator is Neutral and Does Not Decide

The mediation process empowers the participants to retain absolute control over their own lives and reach a mutually acceptable, voluntary agreement without a third party imposing a ruling. For example, if a couple reaches a complete impasse on whether to sell or keep the family home, the mediator will help them analyze the financial realities and potential options, but will absolutely not declare who gets what.

Commit to Good Faith Engagement

Mediation is a voluntary process that only works if both individuals are genuinely trying to find a mutual solution, rather than using the process to delay proceedings or punish the other party. If a spouse disagrees with a proposed buyout plan for a shared asset, they commit to offering a realistic, considered alternative proposal rather than simply issuing a blanket refusal.

Respectful Communication and No Interrupting

Maintaining a structured environment where both parties feel heard prevents the escalation of conflict and keeps the cognitive focus on problem-solving rather than defending against attacks. When one parent is explaining their proposed holiday parenting schedule, the other parent must wait until they are finished speaking before raising any logistical or other concerns.

Focus on the Future, Not the Past

Mediation is fundamentally designed to build a workable post-separation life and parenting relationship, rather than assigning blame or litigating past marital grievances. For example, instead of arguing over whose past behaviour led to the breakdown of the relationship, the parties will be redirected to discuss how they will communicate about their children’s medical appointments moving forward.

Speak for Yourself Using "I" Statements

Framing concerns around your own personal feelings, experiences, and needs rather than making accusatory statements about the other party significantly reduces defensiveness. A participant is asked to say, "I feel anxious when I don't know who is picking up the kids," rather than, "You are always irresponsible with the pickup schedule."

Limit Outside Interference

While consulting with independent legal counsel is strongly encouraged, allowing well-meaning friends, extended family, or new partners to dictate your positions is polarizing and limiting. A participant agrees to thoughtfully consider a proposed holiday schedule based on their own and the children’s needs, rather than immediately rejecting it because a relative or new partner told them to insist on a different outcome.

Attack the Problem, Not Each Other

Separating the individuals from the dispute allows participants to work side-by-side against a shared challenge, rather than treating each other as the obstacle to be defeated. For example, instead of criticizing a co-parent's organizational skills, raise the practical impact the concerns caused, and then both parties will engage in cooperative problem solving to build a reliable system for transporting their children's sports equipment between homes.

Come Prepared with Requested Information

Meaningful resolutions don’t happen in an information vacuum, and spending valuable session time gathering basic facts wastes both parties' time and financial resources. Before the first meeting, both participants must submit their individual information worksheets to the mediator.

Most Importantly, Actively Listen

Mediation elicits parties’ concerns, values and goals, often in surprising detail. Mediation draws out feelings, regrets, fears and hopes. Listen patiently and particularly note things you may not have known or heard before. The mediator is a strict neutral facilitator of the process, so don’t spend your energy trying or hoping to convince the mediator of your position, as they have no desire or reason to take sides.